Joke of the Month

A captain orders one of his soldiers to disguise himself as a tree and then sneak into the enemy camp and plant himself next to the enemy’s headquarters to try to get some information. So the soldier dutifully takes off to do what is asked of him. About an hour later, the soldier comes screaming back to his camp. The captain asks him why he's back so soon. The soldier tells him., "Look, I did what you told me! I got a bunch of twigs, disguised myself as a tree and was able to position myself right next to the main tent!" The captain asks, "Well, what the hell are you doing back here? Didn't you get any information?" The soldier replies, "Look, it wasn't so bad when that woodpecker started pecking at my head. I could even take it when some of the their soldiers came over to pee on me! But when those two squirrels crawled up my leg and one said to the other, 'Hey, let's eat one now and we'll store the other for winter....'"